Shut out

This is another incident during the meeting mentioned in the last post.

While we were waiting for the attendees to filter in, Freddy chatted away with CP and his wife, TP. Apparently, their kids are in the same school and the same class.

From what I could hear, Freddy's child gave a birthday treat for the class: pizza. And CP and TP's boy had two slices of pizza; he was the only one who asked for seconds. So this is probably very young children they were talking about.

I felt embarrassed to be exposed to such intimate details of Freddy's life. Family life, that is. I felt like I was eavesdropping on something that I was not privvy to hear.

At the same time, I felt jealous of the P's that they shared this slice of Freddy's life. Of course, I've always known that I occupy only a very small portion of his life and that I don't carry that much weight in terms of his priorities.

It hurts, nonetheless, that I am shut out of the life of someone who is so important to me.

It doesn't help that Freddy triggers all my heartaches.