Free

Four days on the job and I'm bored. I haven't really learned all the solutions to some common problems but I've gotten the procedure down pat already that I'm feeling the loss of a challenge. Actually, I'm just impatient. I should give it some time, a few months.

I just had a realization the other day. I was wondering, again, how many times in this lifetime do I have to start over again, reinvent myself, in a new environment. Of course, I was lightly considering the option of moving, again. I brushed it off as I realized I was just being impatient. And it was then that I realized that I live my life so intensely that I probably use up energy fit for several lifetimes.

That brought me up short.

Is it possible to live several lifetimes in just one lifetime? I believe this is what's happening to me. It's as if I was making up for lost time. I have visions of two past lives; I'm sure, given proper guidance, I'd have more. But I don't feel the need to see more. In both visions, I was a 9-year-old girl who was extremely sheltered. I have this strong impression that in both lives, I died as a child. Probably because of asthma or tuberculosis (or consumption, as it was then called). So, adult life is a recent experience for my soul.

All the pieces fit under this theory. All the pieces fit, and the realization is giving me peace of mind. I can now look forward to living my life, looking forward to Carl and work and family. I have an amazing life.