Admission

I finally admitted it -- to myself and to Cliff: I am looking for something more.

I don't think Carl is going to be it. He's just too far away and going into retirement. Tom and Dale are never going to be it, either, as both are just too selfish to hang it all on the line for me. Cliff isn't going to be it, either, as he loves his wife and his family too much to be a scum. And I won't allow him.

Just like Marge, I'm tired of all these games.

This is the portion of the conversation I had with Cliff yesterday. It bothered me a lot because I didn't want to complicate matters for him.

Cliff (11:43:00 AM): I know, I know. But....
Cliff (11:43:24 AM): I need to tell you that....
Cliff (11:43:26 AM): hmmm....

Me (11:43:29 AM): yes...?

Cliff (11:43:59 AM): Here is what I am trying to say: You must have been putting out the right kind of energy, because we have a great bond. And,
Cliff (11:44:40 AM): if we were not half a world away and I were unattached, that bond could become more than a friendship. You know that, don't you?

Me (11:45:16 AM): i dont know what to say.....
Me (11:45:28 AM): i think so yes

Cliff (11:45:30 AM): Say what you feel.

Me (11:45:43 AM): i dont now what to say

Cliff (11:45:49 AM): ok. So my point is. If you did it once, you can do it again.

Me (11:46:15 AM): ok...i get it....
Me (11:46:22 AM): yes, thank you

I don't know why these things have to be so complicated.