Email exchange: CDS (Courage)

I still regret so much having to stop seeing you right now. I see your image everywhere and think about you. I believe you are right that my problem is that I can't decide. I wasn't prepared to have to, at least not now. The stark choice of divorce has changed the basis for decision as I just can't throw away my family connections after all these years without stopping and assessing to be sure.

I do hope that there will be a way for us to work together again regardless, though that may be naive of me.

Be well,

CDS

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I am all out of sorts. I don't know where I am anymore. I have lost what I thought was an anchor on which I've built hopes and even dreams. But I am trying to situate things and I know that sometime in the future, we will meet again. Under what circumstances, I don't know.

I am going to be brave and hope that you and I will someday have what we want out of life and have them with each other. I live and love with courage.

Emyn

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I was thinking of writing to you tonight. I don't know if it transgresses on my promise to not be in a relationship with you, but I just need to say a couple of things.

I too am all out of sorts. Today I just couldn't believe that I was facing the weekend without you and that I couldn't look forward to having you with me tonight. Restless, uneasy, and so very doleful. On the way back to my hotel after a long day, I realized how much our weekends would energize me and how bleak being here for 3 weeks now seems. I began to want to cry and just felt that my heart was maybe breaking. How did I get myself into this situation where I am pining for you and for my about-to-be-lost family life at the same time?

Please never believe that I don't love you; never believe that you aren't worth being loved. I am sorry that I have to take this journey with such uncertain outcome. Stay courageous.

CDS