3 August 2004
5:00 p.m.

Dearest Carl,

I went to that interview last night, with the training company, X. The CEO himself, F, conducted the interview with his assistant, a Filipino, present. The CEO's French, very young, no older than 32. So was the Filipino, DO, who's in his mid-20s, and asked one question during the entire hour. They're both based in France. It started well, but ended disastrously.

First thing was the handshake. As CEO, the French guy shook hands unconvincingly. Limp, weak, and just plain confusing. I can't remember if he looked me in the eye. I guess I was looking confusedly at his hand.

The training company offers English language tutoring or coaching via telephone (landline) or videophone, on a 1-on-1 basis. The clients sign up for programs of lessons at 30 minutes per lesson. The client signs up, but the teacher calls him up at a designated hour. Teacher and student then converse in English for half an hour. The CEO says that most of their clients are Eureopeans, a majority of whom are French, since under French law, companies are obliged to allocate a portion of their budget for training, and honing English skills is part of that training.

At first, I was deeply puzzled. I've never heard of anyone learning any foreign language with any appreciable result via the phone. It simply isn't done. So I ask them if they have set modules for teaching. The CEO says no, as the company has been growing so fast (at 300%, if this guy's to be believed), there simply is no time to establish any uniform system.

The obvious question then is how the company measures the effectivity of their teachers. The way he described it, clients are at first assigned to two teachers. Then, he is asked to choose between the two teachers as to his preference. If the teacher gets requested for by clients, then she's considered effective. Because the company's main emphasis is that the client enjoys ("has fun," the CEO's very words) the learning process, as long as the client signs up for more lessons, it doesn't matter if he learns, does it (his own words)? Conversely, if the teacher doesn't get enough requests or none at all, then she's considered ineffective and terminated.

Then there's the payment scheme. The teachers are to be paid a fixed monthly salary of P16,000, plus a fee for every lesson given. Teachers are required to work a maximum of six hours a day, so one teacher can give a maximum of 12 lessons per day and, if sustained for a month, can earn a maximum of P38,000, inclusive of the fixed salary.

The first thought that came to my mind upon learning about the system of "teaching," and the technology used in this, was "phone sex," without the sex. After learning about how teachers were paid, I said to myself, it might not be sex, but it's definitely not teaching English. If you think about it, it's very easy to cross over to erotic chat in this kind of set-up. A complete stranger calls you up, presumably of the opposite sex, and what the hell are you going to talk about? The client sets the topic, he needs to be entertained if the teacher is to continue receiving requests. It can harmlessly start with easy banter, off color jokes, then slight innuendos to sexual matters. Very easily, it becomes erotic chat. Or it could remain on the flirting plane. Why not? The client is kept happy, he remembers the teacher's name, signs up for more lessons with the same teacher, business flourishes, the teacher's pay is assured. It's a phone pal service, in English.

The CEO finally got tired of my questioning, because he could see that I was so disbelieving, and I guess I was trying so hard to find justification for giving credulity to the entire thing, I came across quite aggressively (think courtroom cross-examination of the witness). He ws put out by my tearing the payment schedule and scheme apart and getting into the little details like tax shields (of which he knew nothing about), etc., that he started to act petulantly, like a kid, really. And he didn't particularly like it that I referred to the lesson fees as commissions as, according to him, they were not selling anything. sure. I got the distinct impression that I put him on the defensive and that he was not trying to explain the confusion. So I said goodnight and left. He didn't extend his hand.

It was the strangest job interview that I've ever had in my entire life.

If you check out their website, X.com, you'll notice two things:
1. no specific geographical addresses for the home office or the branch offices, only phone numbers and email addresses; and
2. they accept payments by check, wire transfers and credit card payments online, secured by VeriSign, not PayPal.

The first is very suspicious at the outset because it makes no mention of the principal office of the company, where it's based and the address. The same goes with the branch offices. The second one is frightening in itself since VeriSign is not known to verify the authenticity of the company and/or the services offered. Note that Amazon, eBay and similar sites use PayPal, while Adult Friend Finder and sites of that nature carry VeriSign.

I'm convinced it's a scam. Teaching English, my ass. I went to that interview all prepared to discuss teaching methods and lesson plans. For what? To be offered a job idly chatting with European men who might or might not call again. Fuck them.

Anyway, ADB called and set me for an interview on the 12th. The job's boring but the pay's good, and the benefits, better. Let's hope. I really miss you, sweetheart. Write me something funny and light. I need you to keep me sane, you know. The duck joke doesn't seem to be working anymore. I need my complete and utter bastard fix badly.

Love you,

Emyn